Life at the moment

It’s very strange to sit down and write about who you are, and what you’re doing. Or at least what you think you are and what your actions are accomplishing, or how they’re influencing other people. It’s a bit ego stroking, but as an individual…maybe it’s necessary to stroke one’s own ego. Jack London wrote about the fatal flaws of being an individualist, but maybe some of us are built to be individuals. It could be fate for that person, or it could be what they’ve trapped themselves in. An individual is a canvas of other individuals splattering their influence on him, his caretakers and then his friends, and the varied and incredible life he may live. It’s important, at least to me, to keep in perspective that you are the product of that, and not simply what you have done. I don’t know if I consider myself an individualist, but I can say, in a sad, deprecating fashion, I find myself considering myself better than some, and it is not something I am proud of. And pride is another ego boosting mechanism, accomplishing that same action – thinking you are better than someone. Really, I just want to talk about some stuff I’m doing and how I’m involved and to organize it for myself and not find myself in a pit going crazy in projects and responsibility I don’t find myself ready for. 

It would be to do this in some sort of order, so I think I’ll start with school work and go into environmental work, which is where I see myself going as a person interacting with other people and somehow living, so that’s kind of a mix of both. School…is such a weird thing. I never found myself being really interested in school but knowing it would be a huge part of my life, especially going into academia for a bit, at least to go to Grad School and get a PhD in the sciences or mathematics. I’m gonna do it! One day, I’ll wake up and be in Grad School and say holy crap, I’m still a human being doing things.

So now I’m entering my second year at The City College of New York. My parents went here! Eric and Odin’s dads both went here, as well as Michael Vulis…and Tara’s parents. It’s such a scary small world, knowing we’re part of some web that is constantly updating and renewing itself and building. So, studying environmental engineering. Not sure what it is yet, but apparently the American Academy of Environmental Engineers and Scientists are primarily focused on water. Water! It’s a big deal. I don’t know if I want to deal with water. It’s a lot of chemistry. It’s a big goddamn deal, but it’s…I don’t find my heart in it. It’s like a fun experiment. I’m gonna be taking an Earth Hazards class, Physics II, Calculus III, and Earth Systems Analysis. I guess it’s all in the same vein so it’ll be alright. I’m nervous about Physics because of the professor, and I’m afraid I’m going to do really bad. That really sucks. I don’t like being nervous about that. Not the content of the class, but the fact that the professor sucks. What a lame reality. Dr. Kreminska is going to have to hear me out on this. I think I’m on track to graduate in 4 years, maybe if I take summer courses in mathematics or liberal arts. That’d be cool, but this current 10 hours a week of crazy ridiculous physics is getting to me. That and work makes me feel like my days don’t exist anymore. They almost do! The future seems so full of possibilities, but it’s the present that matters a lot more. You have to exist in it.  This needs to be sorted out. I’m considering dropping to 3 classes for the semester, but that seems like I’ll be falling behind so hard. I’d rather not do a side project then not graduate – I don’t want to be in school for the rest of my 20’s, but I don’t want to kill myself getting through it. I did some math, and it’s gonna be 15 hours a week of class time. Following the general guideline of 2 hours of study time per class hour…45 hours a week? I think I can do it. I CAN DO IT. It’ll be crazy, but I CAN DO IT. But I have to switch my professor. Rant. Class. ended. More stuff below.

i’m working at a waste water engineering laboratory at school, which is kind of awesome. It’s great because the hours aren’t bad, yet, and there’s income. There’s amazing opportunity to learn and discover the world and the very real urban society we, or at least myself and the majority of people i know, exist in. We’ve been studying the removal of nitrogen species from the release of the plant, and it’s expensive as hell. The carriers we use are interesting, but they’re weird to use and require specific conditions. This could be very promising for existing plants, but you know, bureaucracy. I’ve learned so much about applied chemistry and physics, and how to function inside of a lab. I think that’s the best part, so I can bring my skills to the real world. It’s gonna be fun. This is a big deal, but the real big deal is the projects going on. 

The first big project is being on the board of directors of NYPIRG. I’m on the board of a not for profit. What even?! I don’t know how seriously I should take it, but I”m taking it pretty damn seriously. We’re doing some work, I don’t know if I’d call it great work. At least they’re not supporting fracking. I think combining this with the other thing that’s going on, fossil fuel divestment, would be way more fruitful. NYPIRG has the power to facilitate change across New York State, and they should be trying. Their resources would be crucial for organizing students all over the state, so the divestment movement can grow. They also have the ability to  unite students from everywhere in a common goal. Between them and the existing CUNY Divest group and the support of the REC, real change can happen. And not Obama change, but tangible consequences that my generation and future generations will feel. Word!

So Divestment is also a thing. It refers to the removal of funding from companies, in this case the top 200 fossil fuel companies. These funds are currently invested by the university endowment, the fund that is built by alumni donations. The CUNY endowment is somewhere in the $200 million range, and the divestment of the approximately 5% of its holdings in the industry would mean removing $10 million from some companies that really don’t need it. Well, they will. But we’re gonna take it away. YEAH! This effort is being contribute dot by a weird group of people that have a lot of potential, but need some organizing skills and ego cuts. The divestment movement has such potential, such incredible backing. We’re going to be working getting a website up among other ideas, which is going to be crucial to reaching out for 

The next thing going on is the e-waste drive. Electronic waste (ewaste) is full of useful materials, including rare earth materials. Also a ton of toxins. I want to start collecting them on campus and have them dealt with, reducing our footprint at school but also preventing a ton of junk from ending up in a land fill. NYPIRG, NYWEA, the Civil Engineering dept. and pretty much every department should be on top of this, and I’d like to see what can be done. yeah!

So a quick recap: Working at a waste water treatment lab, taking some science classes, doing e waste, doing divestment. 

This…is a lot for me. A lot of stuff is going on. I want to be a human being in between it and experience human emotions and have fun and interact and develop interpersonal relationships that aren’t solely based on our work in an area. I really appreciate Kira right now, because honestly she’s just awesome. She has a great perspective on life and her support is just…great. It’s just great. I think I had more stuff to say, I’m gonna stuff it or come back and say more stuff later. I would like everybody to try to be a better human.

Do stuff! When you think something’s a problem, fix it! Make your bed, clean your garden, make your town more friendly for the Earth, but go out there and DO SOMETHING.